The one inside us

Is not finding meaning in 'life' actually a way of finding it? Is life only a straitjacketed, monorail journey which we all take just to go from point A to B(and perhaps C)? Or is it just a web of experiences where achievers and losers criss-cross to shape each other, one indispensable to the other? Whose life is more valuable, the 'one' who guides us all, gives meaning to those As and Bs for generations? Why is it, that only a few can see and are willing to go on 'that' path, which the others cannot(or don't) see? What drives us when we have nothing left?  What breeds a lack of ambition and fuels complacency?  Why are 'systems' in us and around us always susceptible to fail? What breeds suffering? Why is utopia only an imagination? Cannot societies afford more change agents, the outliers, or only a limited ones have that responsibility? What allows us to not 'think'? Why cannot the journey to reach to ourselves pass through others? What is this thing that passes and makes us old? Why does it end, always? Why is life so short?

We start out as young, flexible minds and end up having our own rigid identities, defined by our work, our nature, our upbringings & our reactions. Freedom and the lack of it, both makes us who we are. The glare of life around us is such, that it creates 'us'.

Interests and Collections

This article is about a coming-of-age-Indian and attempts to take a look at the changes that sweeps through our society in recent times, (changes) in the things we like, about and for ourselves. The article tries not to stick to one thought and weaves a interplay between different times and ideas. 

A man can be best defined by his 'interests' and his 'collections', given off-course his will and ability to make room for them in his life. Collections, not just in terms of money but of the things he like.  

As average Indian kids of past decades, what did we use to collect? Newspaper cuttings(sometimes pasted in scrap-books), calendars(tabled and walled), books and various other stationery items like diaries, stickers, colours(crayons, wax, sketch-pens), pencil boxes(which later got replaced by pouches), book marks(I remember it used to cost Re 1, and was a cheap way to build collection, you see), puzzle books. There were very many of them, as choices, but at the same time one could count these things on his fingers. Sometimes we used to collect wrappers of packaged items we used to eat, like that of Ruffles Lays(and the freebies that came inside it), Amul's chocolate boxes, Alpenlibe(that was the best toffee/candy of our times) and even KismiBar(again a cheaper way to build a collection). We were also keen to collect accessories like wrist bands, laser beams, bracelets and wrist watches. Sometimes we were keen to better equip our bicycles and bikes by adding gears, lights, sirens. 'Music' was the biggest rent we used to pay(remember buying a blank cassette?). Sometimes buying musical records, cassettes and CDs of the movies we liked and could afford. Learning Music(and instruments) was only for the privileged few but nevertheless it was common. Our interests depended a lot on our collections and what we could get within our cities, or some of the bigger nearby cities. They were not toys. They were collections of our life, something which not only gave us pleasure but defined us as individuals. Each one of us had a particular combination of interests and collections.  

Fast forward to now. Where are those things that defined us? Is growing up an explanation to their disappearance ? We can grow up(and old) but we cannot forgo our interests. Nowadays, many of those have got moulded in forms of 'folders' and 'bookmarks' and sometimes reduced to mere likes. We now define our interests in a vast sea of information. We stand at the shore of this vast sea and can enter anytime and reach any of its corner, as we please. It is impossible to start a day without coming across a new thing, either through phones, discussions or on our computers. The density of activities around us just keeps on increasing and the flux just doesn't seems to end. All this makes sticking to few items not a great idea. 

Let us see a case of 'staying fit'. The idea of staying fit was inherently attached to having fun. We maintained and attained fitness by playing cricket and not watching it. Going to parks in the morning, taking a longer route on the cycle for exploring things around generated thrill, fun and kept us fit. These days, Gym is our idea of a staying fit. A small room with elephant sized instruments, which eat our calories and give a sense of workout. Lest we forget that burning calories is also only a wastage of our bodily calories. Have we completely forgotten our right to spend our own calories in a sensible way? Isn't it similar to throwing away some cash just because we have piled up way too extra. The question is, couldn't it be spent in a better way? 

               

We are humans, who can and should feel, as opposed to machines which work based on fixed calculations between their components. It can be channelized with a sense of purpose and fun.

It is in this context that it becomes imperative for us to remember the importance of cultivating interests. It pays to build a collection and above all that we did all this within our own lifetime, once. I am not just finding faults with the internet but the entire ecosystem it has generated. What  is left of our attention span? How long can we dig-in to pursue an issue? How long can we actually pursue an issue? Take the case of news these days, something big is waiting to happen every other day, which also eats the previous dust and cleans the slate of our memory. Importantly(and sadly), the biggest of the biggest news is only left to us as an information. 

The world is in an increasing state of flux but as individuals the most important thing we can do is to cultivate interests and guard them, because only our interests have the power to define us, lest we be reduced to mere numbers or information. 

Flowers

Few months ago, I went to one of my friend's house. An old buddy from the school, with whom I had shared countless events, days and nights. It was evening time and we were to go to some place. Waiting in around his garden I saw a few flowers. Coloured, soft skinned, wallowing with the mild breeze that was flowing, they really caught my attention. When he came out, ready to rush in to the newly opened multiplex in our town I asked, Man, when was the last time we saw some flowers around? I mean, looked at them and felt something?

The grass was greener.

I remember during the summer-breaks of our School days, we used to go to a nearby park in the mornings and kick start our days with sports and jogging. In the carved out lanes within the park, there were hundreds of flowers. The park even had a mini nursery inside. One of our favourites used to be something called a Dog Flower. It had a dog shaped mouth on its top and upon pushing it with the fingers around its bud it used to emulate a dog's barking action. My friends and I used to carefully tip toe our way to its lanes and pluck some. Almost always, being caught by a distant gardener and fleeing away in the process. I don't know what exact feelings we had at that time but I am sure it was a mix of curiosity, fun and deprivation. The last one because we too had gardens at home but there were only roses and marigolds. 

Now almost fifteen years have passed and not just us but our entire nation has changed. There has been development all around and development comes at a cost. Costs that are not just physical but psychological too. Standing in his garden, that evening I was actually paying the price for seeing them while they gave me a chance to relive the days we use to play with them.

Got a better song than this?

"Summer 68" by "Pink Floyd"

Album "Atom Heart Mother"

"Would you like to say something before you leave 

Perhaps you'd care to state exactly how you feel 

We said good-bye before we said hello 

I hardly even like you, I shouldn't care at all 

We met just six hours ago, the music was too loud 

From your bed I gained a day and lost a bloody year 

And I would like to know 

How do you feel, how do you feel, how do you feel? 

Not a single word was said, delights still without fears 

Occasionally you showed a smile but what was the need 

I felt the cold far too soon - the wind of '95 

My friends are lying in the sun, I wish that I was there 

Tomorrow brings another town and another girl like you 

Have you time before you leave to greet another man 

Just you let me know 

How do you feel, how do you feel, how do you feel? 

Good-bye to you 

Charlotte Kringles too 

I've had enough for one day" 

PS: How we are surrounded by moments discussed above. 

New Age Relationships

There are very few ads which you like at the first instance you see them. They are slightly ahead of their time, if not a real portrayal of the present. It then gets even better when they get discussed by masses (become newspaper articles or long social threads), while you thought you were the only one who subtly and quietly liked them. 

              A new Airtel commercial has come up with a fresh idea of betting on the Woman Boss. 

The ad portrays, how these days, couples are handling life and relationship together. Girl, here, has been shown having an upper hand, being the boss, has brought out the issue of woman empowerment (an issue I was dealing with in my previous Job, though in rural India). The times now are such, that a woman can no longer just work but can even be a boss, a breadwinner, not just craving for an equal footing. Education has done wonders. Who would've thought of it a hundred years ago in India? The pallu/duppatta clad aunties and didis which were there a generation prior to mine, have now been, in fair amount, taken over by Jeans or Suited screen scrolling ants, busy doing something. Take no offence, reader, this doesn't meant the earlier ones weren't good or something. I am only stating the observations on the social metamorphosis I see. On second thoughts, it wont be wrong to ask whether if, the Boy were to get back home first, would be have done the same? How easy it is for the boy to welcome this change of status quo, of him being the Junior? Has our society been overburdened/altered by professionalism? How do we actually see 'time-for-each-other' as an issue these days? What about the Work Life balance?   

The ad entails a realistic optimism and brings out a fresh take on relationships these days! I wonder, who was the first person who really came up with this and what the team presentation discussion it would have generated.. 

Let us ask ourselves

The set, here, has a tinge of grave satire if not outright criticism towards a lot which is going on around us and which includes us. While we, as individuals, live and make all sorts of behavioral perceptions about the world and live to justify them, we fail to understand that these perceptions live on, even after we are dead. What importance do we give to the implications of our thoughts and mindsets can have a lot to answer about the problems we face today, as a race. I hereby attempt to figure out few fundamental questions we can ask ourselves, answers to which will generate nothing less than credos for a better world. 

Non-Philosophical (More likely to be implemented by this generation):

1. What/(Who) drives the world? Is it the Government or the Industrialists? Also, who makes the bigger impact?  

2. Why are people, in their respective firms or professions so excessively proud about their justifications to be where they are and what they do? 

3. Why do we love someone, even, if required, at the cost to hate(or kill) someone else? How then is the whole definition of love justified?

4. Why do most of the people depend on others for their live's progression and at times survival? What stops them from realizing their potential and their duty to solve their own problems? 

5. How do people believe in the claims of the 'History of Religion'? Is it this easy to be-fool humans or keep them organized under one specific belief-system, which will usually refuse to believe in other such systems? 

6. If every one is taught the ideals of honesty,love and integrity in schools why do people end up blasting airplanes, raping young girls and crucifying ordinary souls? What use is such a schooling system of? How can we match the wrong people with right ones?

Philosophical (Less likely to be implemented by this generation):

1. What is our Cosmic Context? It appears Physics is far away from providing validated answers, only axioms run the show. 

2. Is there any account of the problems humanity has created vs the solutions it has to offer? A road-map which shows where we are heading?   

3. If our birth is everything which defines us, what can be in store through our death? What if someone refuses to live altogether? Will he be any different from the best man(or perhaps the best raccoon) alive?

4. Why do people prefer ignorance over knowledge? 

5. If the only thing which Wars justify over the destruction they entail, is the protection of national sovereignty, then why can't we just get rid of borders altogether? Isn't there a tremendous possibility that such a trivial justification can pop up every now and then?

6. How can we have such a persisting inequality? Justifications aside. 

At the heart of The Capitalist(Growth driven/Wealth creation) Economy lies a fundamental worry, that which asks everyone to be concerned just about themselves(their self interest). Is Capitalist Economy, perhaps the best theory (ever) which actually explains animal behavior? 

While I ponder, the merciless killings, the exploitation behind the veil of economics, border shelling, majoritarian outrage and unfathomable resource usage across the globe will only continue to be a normal occurrence. 

"Shahid" The Movie and its Indelible message

"Pyaar hai dheh sa gaya

Hai kadar kahaan

Mann hai yaadon ka ek majmaa"

Its been a year or so I saw Bhaag Milkha Bhaag and I wondered, why it was not adjudged the Best Film at National Film Awards. I was so wrong.

There are movies which can stir and enrage you to a point where to not speak up is hardly an option.  Which can test your dormant conscience and make you believe that yes, there is injustice in society and that all’s not fair and what if, he were you? A Courtroom drama, with Human values, the city of Mumbai and picturesque Kashmir valley revolving around it, tied with reverberating background score is a Biopic of Late Shahid Azmi (played to perfection by RajKumar Rao), who took up cases for ordinary people who are dragged to court, outrageously put behind bars, tortured and questioned with disdain. People who had lesser means to prove the truth.

Let us believe, first, in the systems & institutions we've made.

This world*, which, quite mercilessly allows a person to only be on one side of *its propaganda. It cannot let him seek his own calling and if he dares to overrule the side he has once chosen or to build up on his committed mistakes, to fight for a rampant injustice he sees, which the world itself is oblivious to, the world fights back and stabs his nuanced, noble efforts to help re-build humanity. Oh gosh! To imagine all this to’ve happened to someone is horrendous.

Shahid Azmi makes two valid points,

We don’t have to consider an accused, a criminal simply because he is in a lock up for two years, if his arrest proves the point completely, what good is Judiciary for? 

Having said that, I wonder do I really believe in courts or do I decide on my own contempt? Actually, the accused, the moment he is publicly raided, arrested is then immediately put on trial by our societal opinions and media. We need to shun our contempt and let Judiciary do its task. Let us believe in our courts and not take laws in our hands. (Shahid Azmi gets shot at and dies in 2010 chiefly due to common people taking laws in their hand). :-/

The other point is actually his life. It is the society which enrages him to step into a terror (read fundamentalist) organization, especially in Islam, where its easier to do things for your religion, there is no doubt about it and especially at his age of 15 years. I remember how easy it was for me to think of doing anything that came to my mind. Then, it was easier to get convinced, who researched, who cared, enough? And still he came back and he got himself educated to a point of bourgeois acceptance. However, quite irrationally the society inflicted rage onto him via some disillusioned but acceptable fundamentalists. Not done! This is not done man!

I then, think the biggest problem this world is facing is nothing but fundamentalism, whichever side you take. Why can’t we see the other side, let them live their life and lead ours?  I am grief struck, so as to think, exactly which world am I living in?

Issues aside, I rated the movie 9/10 at IMDB. It, as a lot of good films, is slightly underrated in terms of its popularity. Can the readers, atleast, spread it out?

PS: Shahid won two Awards at National Film Awards 2014, with the Best Film Award, however been bagged by another masterpiece, Ship of Theseus. 

'Ankhon Dekhi' What makes it a good movie

This film is about a thought experiment which is so common that everyone wishes it to be done by everybody else. It signifies an intropspective, inbound phase in the lives of many people which can more easily be felt than can be expressed. It lies beyond Joy, Wonder or Amazement. It is something which defies comprehension. When a man(Sanjay Mishra), accidently but soulfully gives himself a chance to question things around him, all, big and small and accepts faith into anything but his own ability, such, is the theme of the movie. Spun around a Delhi middle class joint family which has more family members than the time to address them, all at once.

The most striking feature of the film is an attempt to make it end like the contemplative, dying protagonist who finally come to terms with a certain cosmic reality and wisely speakes till the end, like Kevin Spacey in American Beauty. That particular part though could have been much better, both philosophically and in terms of cinematography.

The rising attempts in Parallel Cinema

I've rated it 7.5/10, the film lacking mainly in the expectations it sets upon the audience in the beginning. However, the acting, the sets and the characters couldn't have been better. It is thus aptly rated at IMDB as well.

The way Bollywood has left us unassuming about expecting films that have elements more than just plots and stars is being continuously challenged in recent times. Films of the likes of The Lunch box, Dhobhi Ghat, I am Kalam etc have been praised and cherished by an increasing number of people.
A man who can more than be credited for creating these simplistic masterpieces back to back, Rajat Kapoor is one of the best thing which is happening to Bollywood and personally an effective reason to indulge into the genre of 'realism/parallel cinema' over the Friday flicks or the Blockbusters.
Having said that, I wonder, what makes this cinema parallel? Is it the Issue? The Ssar cast? Portrayal of reality over sensation? Music over songs? Lesser viewership? Lesser budget? What?
IMO, these are hardly any predicaments which may land a film in the vicinity of parallel cinema and be preserved over being watched. Also, what is Parallel to one can be mainstream to another, right?

PS: Drop in your emails in case you cannot download, shall share it over Google drive. (And sorry for open copyright violations, I'll try and make up with Rajat Kapoor & Manish Mundra) :) .

A piece on Nath Sect, Rajasthan

Intreaction with Nath Community at Kala Gora Temple, Sawai Madhopur

What goes around, comes around. I had recently put down William Darylmple’s Nine Lives. A book which talks about the nine community-based/localized religions, showing how fragile and virtually unknown they are to the common Indian, eg. The Rewari community of Rajasthan worshipping the Pabuji of Pabusar, was an interesting account, with the incumbents in a relentless battle to save the fragmented pieces of  an ancient, locally generated religious belief system. 

Kala Gora Temple, Sawai Madhopur

During my visit to Ranthambore National Park, I took time out to visit an acclaimed and ancient temple of Kala Gora. Carved into the steep ridges of Aravallis around 10 KMs from Sawai Madhopur Railway Station, is a small but colourful complex.  This Temple, one of its kind in India belongs to Nath Sect, a sub tradition within Hinduism. The two deities Kala and Gora (Goraknath) are two brothers, with the Gora being the famous Hindu god Bhairavnath, a reincarnation of Shiva and Kala his brother. Goraknath, a common man belonging to Nath community performed Siddhis to attain the highest order, Bhairavnath(a shaivism belief). Interestingly, Nimnath and Parsvnath (from Jainism) were disciples of Bhairavnath and are connected to the Nath Sect. This complex interlinkage of Indian religions(Hinduism and Janism, here) is something I need to explore more.

The two moortis of Kala and Gora present atop the temple complex at quite a height, gave a beautiful view of the old city and its surrounding mountain line. With only a little expectation in heart, I climbed up and entered into one of the most meaningful conversations I’ve had in recent times, with the Priest of the temple (Shiv Narayan).

How old is this temple? I asked. “Around 1200 years old”, He replied.
 
He then remarked with a question, “Why have you come here? There is no god, You’ve put your own money, taken the bus, you decided and you walked up till here. If it weren’t your will and effort you could not have reached here”. It was an unsolicited remark. I felt captivated by this unassuming, unorthodox way of welcoming anyone on a temple(unlike the usual priestly-sweet-talk).

With of Old Sawai Madhopur from Temple Complex

The stoical views he shared about his religious standpoint were strikingly self-centric, that god resides within and that the god should never be extolled and put to a higher level altogether. These are bold statements and having the whole community to follow them is even bold yet beautiful. He elaborated that a person of his sect lived on the edge of a sword, tight-roped, always, forever. Meaning, unlike the usual hindu community, they invite sufferings and physical pain in the process of attaining Siddhi. This seemed to borrowed from Jainism. The Temple, he told was the only place to attain Tantrik Siddhi for the entire Nath community and people from whole of the Rajasthan came to visit this temple.

Thoughts on Rama: He was on ordinary man who did a lot of common things, good and bad. He killed an animal for his wife. He killed Ravana and almost destroyed his entire clan and empire.  Exactly, what do you think remains of the original Lanka, like does the Ayodhya? His only great part was his obedience. If only every child obeys his parents the way Rama did, that’s what we can credit him for but the way and the moment we start giving them(Rama) a place above us, when we elevate their status to something that we cannot reach, that’s when we discredit our own existence. God is within us. Science has now and in our community it has been said for ages that the same constituents which make us, made the planet and this universe, made the God. Its all one, chemically.

Thoughts on Human existence: The right question is not why we exist, it is, given that we exist, what is the most important and meaningful reason we should be alive. No one has ever and can ever stop the cycle of creation and destruction. Its like the waves at the sea-shore, the way air bubbles are created. Some of them stay for a long time, you have to be that bubble and important one who stays for a while and creates meaning. Interestingly, there is no point questioning why the bubble is created. Humans are undoubtedly the most important race. They have consciousness, can differentiate, judge, create and destroy unlike any other creature.   

Temple priests, Shivnarayanji on extreme left.

Thoughts on Festivals/Diwali: Do you celebrate Diwali? I asked. Yes, when we are done with our field harvests, we take time out to clean our houses, paint them. It isn’t that ‘Ram’ came back or something like that, no! Though, I must say, community needs festivals to grow together, there is nothing bad is celebrating Diwali but not because Ram came back. It is me who has ploughed and I want rest and I want to celebrate.

Can we have something to take from this sect? Was this really a spin-off from Hinduism or stood on its or can now be attributed to have contributed to Hinduism as one of its constituent smaller religions ? Above all, I felt happy that there are sects, which can stand on their own and question what is written in sacred texts, as even texts were written by humans, like us.   

Backside of the Diary

Ten inspiring quotes/sayings/dialogues I scribbled on the backside of some random diaries I keep. Not at all the 'ten best ones' or even the 'assorted ones' but they make sense, each one of them.

#What you and I think of big money is loose change for them.
(Vinod Mehta, newslaundry on Mukesh Ambani)

#Its not what enters the man's mouth that is evil, its what goes out of it.
(Probably, Mahatma Gandhi)

#We call ourselves civilized but behave no less than barbarians when it comes to our self interests.
(Very common, isn't it?)

#Don't disturb the club. \m/
(Ah! Ever have a chance of saying it? Exclusivity isn't that common)

#You can buy a painting but you cannot say you painted it.
(Chetan Bhagat, money can't buy everything, stop flaunting!)

#Denials and Bans don't work in this country.
(I think its mostly for India) :(

#Don't hit 50 and still have the same friends you had in school/college.
(Exploring strangeness is not wrong, right?)

#Sometimes its more important to stop looking at Forests and start looking at tress.
(On importance of "Micro")

#If you don't stop being ordinary, you would never be extraordinary.
_me

#Even a brand has to act like an Individual.
(Mostly from 'Built to last')

and lastly an extra one,

Companions of contemplation. :)

#There is a thin line between 'principles' and 'prejudices'.
_me (Think! how much principled/prejudiced we really are :-| )

I thought let me jot all these together, what better way than a blog post. :)

"Bookoholics: The meet-up"

Books have always been close to my heart (closer than sports, politics and computer gaming).

PS: “Bookoholics” is a door-delivery book library which has now evolved into a community club for intellects and book lovers, based at Surat.

A friend of mine, who had been to the group’s previous meets, introduced me to the concept and I got added to the group’s Facebook group. Here, everyone shared what they were reading (not formally giving book reviews though) and seek general info about reading-lists and interests. I definitely saw it more than just a library.

Well today was my first meet. Getting up to meet almost familiar people (through FB discussions) was rather comfortable. It was a varied mix of Teachers, Lawyers, Computer engineers and students from Politics to Biotechnology. The meet started off with a Lindau-meet returned Professor who shared his experiences of the meet and rather unusual comparison of Human values of The West with India. While the talks were going on, freshly prepared barbeques were served which added tastes to our senses. Later, there was talk on to Morality, which actually went on to become the central theme of later discussions. Lastly, a student talked about Politics, his anecdotal style playing pivotal role in his speech.

The mic then when astray with all members taking chance of introducing themselves and giving brief views about the meet’s central agendas.

Bookoholics, even it its present structure is a wonderful concept. A club that meets monthly and asks its fond members to take time out of their regular schedule for discussions on true consciousness and not just about moments that pass by. I am sure Surat isn’t in dearth of people who can turn up for such things, its only that we need them to know us.

#lookingforward